Today at the office, Will told me that he had found this great personality test online. He urged me to take it, as he was dying to know what character type I would be classified as. I indulged him and, curious myself, took the test. It was a series of sixty questions, based on social preferences, interaction, goals etc. In the end, it classified me as a 'dispassionate introvert,' whatever the fuck that means. Will seemed a little taken aback when I told him that these were the results the test had given me. He then quickly started telling me about his own results and why he thought they were really accurate, and how he's a really amazing person and statistically a very rare personality type. But while he was talking, it was as if I were watching a foreign film. It seemed that his lips moved, and words came out, yet I could not understand them. I imagined subtitles appearing below his face, and I spent more time trying to read the subtitles than actually listening to his drivel. He stopped talking, awaiting some sort of validation on my end. "Well?" he asked. I wasn't sure what he wanted to hear from me. The only thing I was able to get out was "I'd kill for a peanut butter and banana sandwich right now."