Tuesday, May 25, 2004

My life's been much more frantic than usual lately. I mean, I'm always emotionally frantic (either that or completely emotionally numb), but I've been all shook up lately. My landlord's found a new tenant that'll pay more money for my crappy apartment (why??), so I'm getting kicked out. I've been looking for a new place for the past month, but just haven't found one that suits me. And sometimes I just can't bring myself to look for a new place. At night when I should be all over the classifieds, and making calls to people, sometimes I just sit in my room playing computer games, pretending that I don't really have to move. I'm dreading having to move all my wordly possessions. I have them just arranged/archived the way I want them. I'm not comfortalbe with change. I guess all this madness has me on edge even more than I usually am. Little things are really bothering me, like certain television commercials for instance. Especially that "Lamisil" commercial. It's a pill to treat toe fungus. And there's this little fungal gremlin hopping around people's feet, going "nyeahh...me and my friends will just settle in here, right under your nail bed," and he's lifting up this guy's toenail on his big toe like it's a fucking car hood or something, and climbing inside. And it scares the shit out of me. Normally watching "the Today Show" prepares me for my shitty day, but when I see commercials like this, I feel weakened and less able to deal with what the day may bring. The other commerical is the one for GE Financial Services or something, where Christopher Columbus is talking to the Queen of Spain, asking for funding so he can find North America by accident to bring her riches from around the world. And the Queen's got this creepy little guy standing by her side and he totally fucks Christopher Columbus over and when Columbus is in a rowboat and asking to be taken to the flagship, one of the guys rowing the little boat they're in says "this IS the flagship" and Columbus looks at the creepy Queen's assistant and he waves to him and he has the scariest fucking child molester look on his face and it just upsets me so much and the way that Lamisil fungus gremlin says "nailbed" just really really bothers me and Al Roker's getting fat again and I still don't care for Katie Couric and I need to find a place to live and I'm still so lonely but no woman is good enough for me and