A few admissions:

1) I never got a pet cat. There is no "shakie wilcox" and I'm not quite sure why I made all that up. I do wish I had something to love though, be it kitty or person.

2) I am still a complete monster, without remorse or purpose.

3) I am unemployed and have never felt freer. I spent all day today playing playstation in my underpants and eating Lucky Charms. On Friday I spent the day at the beach with a cooler full of pre-made margaritas in empty Poland Spring water bottles. I know that this wonderful feeling is a high that cannot sustain itself for long, but somehow the anxiety of being jobless hasn't kicked in yet. I'll worry about all that later. Right now my plans involve ordering pizza and renting a bunch of Tom Cruise movies. I love that guy.

4) Tomorrow is my 25th birthday and I feel more childlike than ever.

I'll tell you how it all went down another time. Oh, also I'll finally tell you how I blew my chance at true love and destined myself to be emotionally desolate for the rest of my life.

I got fired today.