Last night I saw an ad for the ten o' clock FOX news that warned of some new disease that causes you to laugh too much. "Do you have a bad case of the giggles? It may be more serious than you think!" they said. I was intrigued. What kind of sickness could make you laugh more? How do I acquire this sickness? I ended up not watching the news, as I was too busy looking at internet pornography. However, I did watch it on Sunday night, and it was quite a treat. At first I was going to change the channel because I thought they were going to go on and on about the latest tragedies and fuckups in Iraq, since there had been such a bloodbath there over the weekend. But I was pleasantly suprised to see that they only gave the Iraq business minimal coverage, and instead focused on new consumer satellite radio units for five minutes. I was captivated. They went over how it works, which one to get, and why I should get it. Of course I ordered one online yesterday morning. Thank god FOX news is able to sift through the bullshit and get to what's really important, especially in this holiday season. If I wanted to watch soldiers die, I'd play one of my many game consoles. Nazis are usually my favorite to kill. But I have seen a recent rising trend in increased videogame violence towards civilian characters, and it is very appealing to me.