I wrote this down on a Sbarro Pizza napkin at the local shopping mall the other day, during the holiday shopping frenzy. I made 100 photocopies in the copyshop, then proceeded to leave the copies in strategic places all over the mall: bathrooms, underneath dvd players at Tweeter, the toy store, shoved inside women's panties in Filene's, underneath SUV's windshield wipers in the parking lot, etc. I can't remember why I wrote it...all I remember is frantically writing it while stuffing pepperoni pizza into my face and trying not to cry:

People everywhere, dead skin cells everywhere in my food on my face on my glasses, sick little fat kid coughing on consumer electronics...smelly loud black woman speaking ebonics. HAHAHA! ...Insects leaving droppings on the shopping mall floor, tastes like cigarette butts and 25% off sales events. Buy one, get one half off. Buy another one in case the first one breaks. Made in Taiwan, Vietnam, China, Philippines, India, Pakistan, Hell, fucking Horrible Hell build me a better portable mp3 player and perfect clothes. I feel sick all the time and I bet you do as well. Everything feels like it'll stop at any given moment, but life must go on, the economy must go on. 10% off of a new Panasonic progressive scan DVD player must go on. I can't imagine life without it. Without electricity, gasoline, and your ugly, spoiled, rotten children spreading their disease all over my goods. Sell me a new body a new conscience a new, clean, unformatted being. Don't you see what's happening? Can't you taste these animals? Don't you feel sick from the lack of oxygen in this sexy consumer death camp? The Sharper Image has everything I need and nothing I don't. Oh God, I miss my life, my childhood, my legos and my lemonade. Are you out there? Any of you? If anyone out there knows how to fix this, fax me or text message my mobile phone. HELP!