In my quest for self-improvement, I finally got myself to start going to the gym. I've gone once, anyway. I didn't care for it all that much. It reminded me of the times I used to go to the gym in college and all of the gross meatheads that would hog all the nautilus machines for like fifteen minutes at a time. There were a few meatheads at this gym, but luckily not nearly as many as I expected. There were also a bunch of sexy ladies in tight spandex, which made me really insecure and uncomfortable. Of course I was wearing all brand new clothes; a pair of New Balance running shoes I bought last week, new Nike shorts, a hot new Puma shirt. I considered getting a headband and some wristbands, but thought that might be too over the top. I bought them anyway, but didn't wear them at the gym. I also bought a new minidisc player, since I didn't want use my old one and get it dirtied up at the gym. I started out on one of those elliptical machines, and did that for about ten minutes before I looked around me and realized I was the only male in the gym using one. For fear of looking like a homosexual, I quickly switched to a treadmill. My performance was pretty laughable, and when I felt I had sweat enough, I got off the treadmill and walked toward the weight machines. I want to get my arms real huge and fierce-looking. As I was walking toward the weights, with my legs all wobbly, this big douche-looking meathead starts walking towards me. He's got the tiniest shirt on and his muscles are all glistening. He has this smirk on his face that just makes me hate him so much. So I try to look as sure-footed and physically competent as possible as I walk towards him. Of course, right when I am about to pass him, something, an eyelash or sweat or something, gets into one of my eyes, and I immediately flinch and blink really hard. The asshole thought I was flinching because of him, and as he passes me he laughs quietly–this confident, toughguy laugh. Dammit. Why did that have to happen? How am I supposed to prove myself in the gym scene if the resident muscleheads think I'm a big pussy and am already scared of them? I spent the next half hour working my rage out in the weight machine section. I mostly fantasized about bashing the guy's head in with a barbell. It really gave me a performance boost as I frantically went from machine to machine. Well, that, and all of the dietary and exercise supplements I purchased at GNC. My heart was palpitating a lot, but whatever. In the end, my first workout went really well, and I already feel better about myself. Plus I saw the guy who snickered at me get into his car (a Dodge Intrepid - ooooohhhhh), so he'll definately get vandalized in the near future. By me. I'm super psyched for this weekend. I'm going to a party tomorrow with some friends from college I haven't seen in a good while, and I'm feeling really confident. It's time to find me a new mate.