Dear robo-diary,

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. The last couple of weeks have been super hectic at work, as projects have been rolling in and I've been trying to redeem myself, socially and professionally. Plus I took a little trip down to DC this weekend to visit an old friend. It gave my patriotism a sorely-needed boost. A metro bus driver gave me several compliments on my diesel digital wristwatch, which made my day. I pride myself in how cool my accessories are. Hats, watches, sunglasses, shoes, messenger bags, etc. We also went to Virginia for a day to see some sites. It was enlightening, as I'd never been there. An interesting observation: I saw a beat up old pickup truck on the highway with two bumper stickers on it. One said "VOTE FREEDOM FIRST" and had an American flag and eagle on it, and the sticker next to it had a big confederate flag on it. I think in this upcoming election, i'm going to vote freedom last, if possible.

Anyway, when we last left our hero, he had just started going to the gym (he hasn't been back yet) and was looking forward to a big party that upcoming weekend. So I went to this party, and had a really good time. I got really drunk and got to talk to a lot of kids I went to school in. A lot of them are in positions similar to mine, so we talked a lot about work, the industry, politics, everything. A lot of them didn't seem all that happy either. Like they weren't really satisfied with their lives. Which is weird, because a few of them had really nice cars. So I was getting increasingly blotto as the night went on, and I started pretty early, so people continued to show up to the party even after I'd hit a pretty good drunk-level. At one point, the doorbell rang, and no one did anything about it, so I took it upon myself to go open the door and greet our new guest. I could see through the screen door that it was a girl, so I composed myself as best I could and went down to the front door, slowly opening it with a big, sincere smile on my face. The girl standing there was really cute. Hip clothes, short hair, and a 6-pack of Bass in one hand, Amstel Light in the other. I liked what I saw. "Hi!" I said enthusiastically, as I held the door open for her. She looked at me for a moment, then rolled her eyes to one side of her head and said "Okayyyy..." and walked inside the house, not saying anything else. I stood there for a moment, still holding the door open, stunned. What the fuck? I couldn't believe how rude she was. I went back upstairs and quietly complained to a bunch of people about this girl's snotty entrance. "Who is that girl?" I asked a few of my female classmates (I can't believe how distant college seems to me now), while swilling more beer and shoving cheese and crackers into my mouth. "I think that's one of Becky's friends? I'm not sure," said one of the girls. "Weh, she don know who she fuhcking wiff" I said, my mouth full of crackers, spraying cracker bits and dust all over one of the girls, who walked away in disgust, brushing herself off. For the next hour, I positioned myself around this girl covertly, glaring at her and drinking imported lager after imported lager, pretending to listen to the people who tried to start conversations with me. "Well, yeah, I think that these new marketing initiatives will be really important in the next year, and uh, we'll see an interesting trend in the return of equities to the company if we keep up this aggressive growth, and um, embrace new media technologies that will enhance user experiences and increase brand loyalty through rebate incentives and...and..." I found myself saying, not even paying attention to the bullshit spewing from my lips. All I could think about was that girl, and how to outwit her. She looked so confident, smart, sassy... Drinking her Bass and tossing her head back with laughter, never making eye contact with me. It drove me crazy. I spent the rest of the night working up the drunken courage to approach her, trying to figure out something to say that would baffle her. At the same time though, I wanted to somehow impress her. I was oddly attracted to her. Twenty-four years old, and I still can't figure these things out. Anyway, things started to wind down as people started leaving, and only the drunkest remained. A good amount of people were still there though. I couldn't stomach anymore beer, and by that point I was really really drunk, and completely obsessed with confronting this mystery girl. So I finally stumbed over to her, everything around me moving slowly as I approached with hesitation. Even as drunk as I was, I was actually nervous. She stopped talking to her friends and just stood there, staring at me blankly as I slowly walked towards her, trying not to look as drunk as I actually was. I stood there for a moment, trying to compose myself, while her and her friends just looked at me. I think one of them was snickering at me. I hadn't really thought of what I was going to say to her exactly, so all that came out was: "Hey. So...uh...want to find out why they call me ostentatious B?" She stared at me...."Wh-what?" she asked, laughing a little bit. "Want to, uh...want to..haha...fuck. I don't know." I then held out my hand and offered her a proper introduction. Suprisingly she accepted it and seemed genuinely pleased to make my acquaintance. Her friends walked away from me and we stood there, slowly building up to a conversation, which was actually really interesting and lasted a good half hour before I abruptly told her that I had to go to bed and dream of electric sheep. Somehow I woke up with her email address written on a ripped piece of toilet paper in my pocket. I never found out why she was so rude to me upon her arrival. This girl baffles me so. I have yet to email her...I'm trying to figure out how to approach this. We'll see where this goes...