I've fallen into the deepest depression I can remember in the past ten years. I tried to do something positive and go back to the gym to pull myself out of this horrible slump. I've been there every night this week. I hate how the guys that work there pretend to be my friend. I told a guy I work with about the gym I go to, and he seemed interested, so I brought him the other night, after work. The kid that signed me up and showed me the place when I first joined was there, and he says to the guy I brought in: "Yo man...you want a membership? I'll hook you up. Yeah, I hooked up your man B over here!" and I just stared at him, and said as deadpan as I could, "Yeah man...you totally 'hooked me up'...by giving me the exact same rate and privileges any other fat fuck who walks through that door gets. Thanks bro!" He just tried to smile back at me, slightly confused and definately trying to hide his irritation. The good thing is, he hasn't said a word to me the past two nights I've gone. Lately my ultimate fantasy has been to just die instantly on the treadmill (my heart always palpitates and I feel like I'm about to die about 20% of the day), and make everyone at the health club deal with my death and be forever haunted by it.