serotonin bleeding internal band-aid fix never understood sparkling dead inside fixed bag of new blood new feelings fixed head better smile new person better man more bandages dirty water dark black feelings romance talk vitamins exercise health diet carrot protein cannot undo fix regret tears funny vomit escape booze never again fix unreal good dreams not letting go better lover fulfill personality scraped knee more accidents rebirth coccoon blooming new leaves new smell rotting roots dead pet new soil insects not escapable whole new man razor slowly idiot again abort escape regret decision needing comfort possessions no people work job responsibility empty produce nothing exist consume buy retreat hide isolate